If you have been dealing with this for a short time or for many years, it’s exhausting trying to be a supportive parent, sibling, spouse or friend both mentally and physically the toll it takes can have long lasting effects.
Get in touchAddiction is insidious and takes no prisoners, it doesn’t care that family members and friends are being held hostage, trapped in a vicious cycle of hope, helplessness, powerlessness, and detachment. It feels as if there is no way out of the chaos that comes with loving and supporting another directly affected by addiction.
The following video invites us to regard addiction from a different point of view.
Get in touchWith kind permission from CMC Foundation for Change.
What were your thoughts as you read the words? What feelings did it evoke?
The first time I saw this video I was reminded of the times when I had used these terms to describe my loved ones. It saddened me that I used labels that weren’t helpful, that I had made decisions that didn’t encourage a deeper connection with my loved ones. Whilst labelling people is commonplace in our society, it doesn’t have to continue and can be reframed to allow for compassion and kindness. Both of which we all need to feel safe and cared for whether we are dealing with addiction or not.
Get in touchDo you have a family member caught up in the chaos that often comes with addiction? You may be feeling helpless and powerless, not knowing what to do. You may have tried many ways of supporting them all to avail.
You may have tried attending support groups that suggest a ‘tough love’ approach or heard ‘let them hit rock bottom’ unfortunately rock bottom can often result in devastating consequences. You might have been told you are co-dependent and enabling your family member or friend. This can leave you with a sense of guilt and blame and let’s face it you don’t need any more judgements to carry. We want to help our loved ones without losing ourselves in the process. It’s that simple but not easy to implement.
Book a callSo, let me introduce myself. My name is Tina Berry and I am a therapist/coach and family member. I have experience, both professionally, and personally from a lived experience. I have supported clients in my online private practice on a one to one basis and in small groups. As a parent, and a daughter I have experienced the affects of addictions and know only too well the pain it causes.
In the past I would quite often ask myself ‘why is it I can I support my clients but find it near impossible to support my loved ones’. The reason being the emotional bond runs deep with my loved one and all rational thought disappears in the midst of chaos.
Contact meDealing with a parent with addiction as well as other members of my family has been a difficult road to walk. I have been in search of support for myself and loved ones for many years. This I feel is the reason I am motivated to support other family members and friends. To gain a better understanding, awareness and to learn tools to assist better communication not only with our loved ones but in other aspects of our lives.
Fortunately, in 2021 looking for a way to gain support for my own much-loved family members I discovered CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) It was the first step to realising that, as a family member I could help my loved one by focussing on building a positive relationship with him. Recognizing that I needed to look after my needs too and in doing so become a positive role model for change.
After qualifying as a CRAFT practitioner, I discovered ITC (Invitation to Change) which is an approach that includes evidence-based therapies such as CRAFT, MI (Motivational Interviewing), ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy). It was an approach that matched my values of compassion, kindness and that it was evidence based. Combined with the CRAFT approach it has been instrumental in helping me to learn more about addiction and how to support my loved ones in a loving, compassionate and kind way
This has helped me to work affectively with my clients going through a similar situation and of course my loved ones dealing with addictions.
If you would like to know more about how I can help you then please book an introductory call at the special price of £25 for a 45-minute via Zoom/WhatsApp. It will be an opportunity to discuss your needs and how I can support you going forward
I currently offer one to one sessions via ZOOM or Phone which are planned for weekly attendance.
Book a callITC (Invitation To Change)) is a holistic helping framework based in science and kindness, designed for the families and loved ones of people struggling with substance use, as well as the professionals who support them.
It combines evidence-based therapies which include ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy) MI (Motivational Interviewing) and CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training)